Page 2 - Old Darth Vato News

This is where old Darth Vato updates go to live.

11.21.2007 »
Re: Recording Update Follow Up: Exceeding Expectations and Stuff

Wow. A couple of weeks in the studio is awesome. And expensive. And exhausting. We got about 90% of our new album completed, and we are heading back in late December to finish it up. We can't wait for everyone to hear all the new stuff on disc. Check our myspace page for Steve's recording updates. For Turkey Day, we are going to eat. A lot. And then we are playing 2 shows this weekend. Be sure to catch us in Denton at the Boiler Room and in Fort Worth at 6th Street Live for SoundClash 2007 with Pablo & the Hemphill 7.

10.28.2007 » Recording a New, Full-Length Album

Well, Halo-ween went off without a hitch. We dressed up and everything! Now it's off to the studio to record our next album. We are going to be in there for a couple of weeks, and then it will all have to get mixed by some badass people in Los Angeles. We don't know when it will be done. For us, it will seem like an eternity until that album is in our hands and yours. It's been a while. That's for sure.

09.25.2007 » Time for a Ho Down in St. Jo (No, not that kind of ho)

That's right, kids. We're playing a music festival in St. Jo, Texas. I'm not sure what to expect. Most likely it will be the same scenario as always: 3 friggin' boners drinking and a-playing and a-having a good time. So join us if you can. The drive doesn't look to far. Maybe 90 minutes or so. We also have a couple of shows coming up in Fort Worth in October. Hope to see you at one of them. Or all of them.

09.03.2007 » Carter Albrecht Shot and Killed

The North Texas music scene lost a musical genius last night. You can read more at DallasNews.com, PegasusNews.com, and CBS11TV.com. Many of you may not have known Carter, but he was a music legend in DFW. I met him a few times, but the most memorable was when Darth Vato recorded the Seven Seas EP in June 2005. A friend called in a favor and Carter showed up to the studio within half an hour to create and record the harmonized guitar solo for our song War on the West Side. We told him we could pay him later, but he didn't even care about the money. It was simply a magical experience to see him work for about an hour and a half and come up with that solo. Darth Vato shared the stage with his band, Sparrows, a few times at the Aardvark and the Moon. I definitely made it to a few of their shows when they would play in Fort Worth at the Moon, and I even have a few of their live sets bootlegged on mini disc. Carter was fascinating to watch and listen to. God bless his friends and family. I am not sure what else to say, so I guess I will not say anything more. Rest in peace, Carter. Rest in peace.

07.29.2007 » Bright Idea #137

What an awesome weekend. Check out the video above. I'm working on the pictures from the last 4 shows, and I should have them up tonight. Thanks for coming to the Moon and/or Headhunters this weekend. And how about those Panther City Bandits? They kick ass. Easily one of the best bands I have seen in a long time. In other news, we are saving up to record our next album. We are looking to hit the studio sometime in October. Just be praying that our van, the Grampus, doesn't brake down or anything. We are practically counting and saving every penny. Our next show is in August at 6th Street Live in Fort Worth. Sunglasses & Mushrooms are coming up from Austin to play the show with us. You should come check them out. And us, too.

07.02.2007 » Don't Pass Out Around Steve and/or a Sharpie marker

Good Lord. That was a fun trip. Thanks to everyone who came to see us in Austin, Houston, and Corpus Christi. I think that was probably the most fun we have ever had on a mini tour. As you can see, Eric had way too much to drink on Saturday night. He fell right down on the couch. I gave Steve a bag of Cheetos, and the waiting game began. Twenty minutes later, Eric was out for the count, and Steve began on artwork which he describes as his "finest moment." It was classic. I will have a video on YouTube later this week. Once again, Corpus was bad ass. Dr. Rockit's kicks so much ass. Corpus, we love you. I hope we can get back there soon. If you didn't already know, there is tons of hot tail running around in Corpus Christi, and they like reggae. Consider our spank banks full after that night's deposit. Until next time, be good. Get a boner.

06.17.2007 » FWWeekly Awards Show

Hey everyone. It's official. We got nominated for Best Live Band in Fort Worth. Go ahead and vote for us if you have nothing else to do. We won this thing last year. It seems to go back and fort between us and Pablo. I'm cool with either one of us winning this award because that means reggae is getting some props. So hurry up and vote. For us. Or Pablo. There's also a show this Sunday night (June 24th) at the Flying Saucer in downtown Fort Worth from 6:00pm-6:45pm. Hope to see you there.

06.03.2007 » I'm Going to Miss the Wreck Room

Holy crap. I don't feel so great today. Hurricane Kerry turned into Slurricane Kerry at about 1:30am. And I wrote a new song. It goes like this: "I'm a fat guy, but I'm still a lightweight." I think it's going to be a hit. Muchos gracias to everyone who braved the Texas heat and the Wreck Room's A/C to come see us play with Pablo & the Hemphill 7. I think we're both nominated in the same category (Best Live Band) again in this year's Fort Worth Weekly Awards. Whatever you do, pick one of us. And while you're at it, vote for the Me-Thinks a lot. They recently had all of their gear stolen. I bet some trophies might help ease their pain. Anyways, back to use boners. Darth Vato will be heading out to Austin, Houston, and Port Aransas at the end of June. So if you are in one of those towns, you better start thinking of good excuses not to come. I'm giving you a few weeks warning, so you better have something good. Welp, big gulps, huh? All right.

05.06.2007 » Stinko de Mayo

De La Hoya got his assed kicked. So what? We still managed to celebrate Mexican Day like some real vatos. The tequila shots were unbelievable! Technically, I think that was probably one of the best shows we've played in a while. Erroneous notes were at a minimum. Huggy Eric and Shipwreck Steve stayed away from the set. And I don't know if you noticed, but we now have 7 songs that are not on an album. We will be heading back to the studio as soon as we have enough songs to make a full-length. Until next time, "Drop the record player on your feet!"

04.29.2007 » Who's Up for 5 More Years of Buffoonery, Boners & Beer?

First off, thanks for coming to the Wreck Room to celebrate 5 years of Darth Vato. What was once a 3-piece local band trying to play punk, ska and reggae has now become a, uh, local band trying to play punk, ska, reggae and Black Sabbath. During that transformation, we've drank a lot of beers and gained a lot of weight. We're truly glad that you could be there for all the boozing and fattening. This week we are in Austin (May 3) and in Fort Worth (May 5). Hope to at both shows if you can make it.

04.14.2007 » Rockin' For A Cure

What a show! We raised money for the Leukemia Society. John put the Darth Vato logo on his chest. We played 2 new songs. I hoped you enjoyed that part. We are proud of that new stuff. We've got some more material on the way. Darth Vato is celebrating our 5th birthday at the Wreck Room on Friday, April 27th. Be there. I heard that Hurricane Kerry might even show up.

04.07.2007 » Boners Night Out with Valient Thorr

Holy Crap! Valient Thorr is awesome! Darth Vato had a family outing last night. We went to see Valient Thorr at Hailey's in Denton, TX. I'm speechless. My guitar pants were flying all over the room. Coolest band I've seen in a long, long time.

03.18.2007 » St. Patrick's Day Hangover

Wow. Still recovering. Thanks for all the shots. Not quite sure how we even finished the set. I posted some great pictures, and I'll be back soon with some videos.

03.11.2007 » Hey! Is that Homeless Steve? Nope. It's the King.

All I have to say is Sunglasses & Mushrooms kick ass. Thanks for a great time in Corpus Christi. We'll see you back up here in April. Our trip featured several funny things. FIrst off, Jesus has a new friend, the King. Secondly, two bottles got full of pee. Don't ask. Third, stay tuned for videos of Steve and Eric place-kicking said bottles. And last but not least - BE AT HALO THIS SATURDAY NIGHT! We're all Irish, so there will be a lot of drinking going on (not that there is anything unique about us drinking our lives away.)

02.24.2007 » Ernie was Buried; Vanilla Jesus is Lonely

Well, there it is. Ernie came down with Broken Face Syndrome, and then his cheeks fell off. We decided to give him a burial at sea like he would've wanted. You should have seen Vanilla Jesus. He was so torn up about the whole thing. He couldn't even attend the ceremony. It was a fitting end to a beloved, sugary cookie. Our friend, Ernie, dead at the age of 10 months. Dead, but not forgotten. In other news, we kicked ass at the Balinese Room in Galveston, TX with Sunglasses & Mushrooms. Those guys are nucking futs. Check them out in Austin if you can. Or you could check them out with us in Corpus Christi, TX on March 10. This weekend brings Darth Vato back to the Moon bar in Fort Worth. Herb'n Pipeline is heading out to play with us, so get there early. It will be a show to remember.

02.14.2007 » Valentine's Day Boners

The boners went down to Austin, San Antonio and Corpus Christi last weekend. We saw a guy get hit in the face with a beer bottle in San Antonio, and a few fights broke out at Dr. Rockit's in Corpus Christi. Also, we destroyed 2 hotel rooms. In San Antonio, Eric and Steve had a drunken late night wrestling match that featured ice throwing. Also, Eric's balls made an appearance again. It was definitely business as usual with Darth Vato on the road.

For those who don't know, I have been dubbed Webzilla because of my web skills or something. Over the weekend, Eric was dubbed Tabzilla due to his propensity for rather large bar tabs. Steve was dubbed Turnzilla because of the large number of U-turns he makes while driving the Grampus. I'm sure we will all get new names over the next several months. We do stuff that makes for good names, like Drunkzilla, PeanutButterCupsZilla, or even HomelessZilla. Stay tuned for more names.

Thanks go out to Sunglasses & Mushrooms and Herb'n Pipeline for some sweet gigs. The Lucky Stiffs were bad ass. The Oklahomos did not disappoint. Those guys are true rock stars. Eric bought their t-shirt. It has a rather plain set of instructions on the back. To wrap things up, check us out in Galveston on Feb. 23 at the Balinese Room.

PS. For those of you who were upset by Steve losing his favorite Volcom hat, he found it in the Grampus. It was a good day.

02.06.2007 » Dick Dale, King of the Surf Guitar

The friggin' boners went to see Dick Dale last night in Dallas at the Granada Theater. His talent is not to be outdone by his sense of humor and showmanship. It is not often that I get to see a guitar player who invented a genre of music and style of guitar playing. Simply amazing. Now I truly know why Steve was so upset that stupid Rolling Stone placed stupid Jack White higher on the list of best guitarists of all time. Stupid magazines. I'm never reading again. If you have never listened to Dick Dale, check out the song Taco Wagon. If you can listen to that without smiling at least once, then musically you must have a cold, dead, black heart. Just kidding. Surf guitar isn't for everyone. It's just for boners.

02.03.2007 » The Grampus, Plips and the Country Blumpkin

Goodness. The show at Fitzgerald's last was awesome. We got some exposure to new fans, and we even sold some merchandise. Shark Attack, Indofin, and Heptic Skeptic all put on a great show, and I even drank a beer with some old friends from Houston. After a nice breakfast at my dad's house, hilarity ensued. Eric got a bath. Steve got some tanning lotion. Kerry got sprayed with candy. Sound fun? Just ask us for details. I don't think we've ever laughed so much in the Grampus, who got the fanciest gas station car wash ever. He never looked so clean. Then Steve spit all over the windshield. Then we gave Vanilla Jesus a chocolate life preserver. He just looked like he needed some chocolate in his life. Anyways, I've got video of some of it, so be sure to check out videos page in the next few days.

01.28.2007 » Next Week in Houston at Fitzgerald's

Thanks to Shark Attack for making the trip up to Fort Worth and sharing the stage with us at the Moon bar. What a great show. Casey, I hope you got home okay. We'll be seeing you again this coming weekend. Darth Vato and Shark Attack share the stage at Ftizgerald's in Houston this Saturday night (Feb. 3). If you are down in Houston and need an excuse to drink while listening to reggae, come to Fitzgerald's. It should be the type of event that you want to remember. Only you can't remember anything from that night. I miss college.

01.12.2007 » Baby's First Traffic Violation

We played in Denton last night at Texas Jive. Pretty good crowd for a Thursday night. We got pulled over for turning left out of the wrong lane. It was our first time to ever be pulled over as a band in the Grampus. We got a verbal warning and a warning paper. That's definitely going in the Darth Vato baby book. Ah, almost 5 years old and already getting pulled over for minor traffic offenses. Shucks. How precious. Surprisingly, the cop was cool. Much, much cooler than any Fort Worth cops we have met (I'm talking about the cops who shut down Toni's party in August 2005). Anyways, enough about cops. We are at the Moon on January 27 with our friends from Galveston, Shark Attack. Be there.

01.01.2007 » Another Year Behind Us

2006 was a blast. We drank a lot of beer. Steve bought a van and got a new amp. Kerry got a new guitar. We started touring all over Texas. We even had a flat tire on I-35. And just yesterday, I uploaded all of our videos to YouTube. You can see those videos on our site much easier now, so check them out here. Also, I have not counted, but I think we played about 60 shows this year. That's a lot of shows! Like 5 per month even. I did the math in my head. I took over 3,000 pictures this year at shows. Much thanks to Ben Perez for the camera. Looking forward, we are already making plans to record our next album. Hopefully, we can have a new album out before summer. We have some great songs in the works, and I can't wait to record them. Thanks to everyone for coming to our shows and supporting us. ♥ The Friggin' boners of Fort Worth.

12.30.2006 » New Year's Eve again? Oh no.

Holy crap. Tomorrow night it's going down at Halo. I don't even want to think of what's going to happen at that show. Just watch out for Steve. Maybe we'll do a repeat performance of our New Year's show from a couple of years ago. I hope not.

12.12.2006 » Darth Vato & the Me-Thinks

Well, we played a show last night. Eight FIngers Down could not make the show, but we still played a bunch of cover songs. They had some band problems, and while we know that simply being in a band is a huge problem, we wish them the best of luck. As for us, we have a huge show at the Wreckroom this Friday night with the Me-Thinks. It's gonna be nuts. We will go onstage around midnight. Hope to see you there.

12.09.2006 » Darth Vato : Under the Covers

If you have not heard, Darth Vato will be playing a $2 show on Monday, Dec. 11 at the Moon in Fort Worth. We will be playing from 10:00-11:00pm, and the best part is that we will be playing a set full of cover songs. It should be a blast. The reason we put this show together was to hookup our friends Eight Fingers Down with a show as they finish up their national tour and head back to Los Angeles. They will be playing after us. Check them out. So please come to the show. It should be the perfect cure if you have a case of the Monday's.

11.24.2006 » Thanksgiving Fun with Eight Fingers Down

If you wanted to hear Two Tone ska, Fitzgerald's was the place to be on Thanksgiving. Ryan Scroggins really tore it up after we played. They even had an accordion player. My favorite part of the night was meeting and hanging out with Eight Fingers Down, a punk band from Los Angeles. Those guys are so awesome. We are planning to have them up in Fort Worth for a show very soon, so check the calendar for a show with them in the next few weeks. Other than that, we are going to get some practicing and writing in during the next few weeks. Be sure to check us out in Dallas with our friends FTL at O'Riley's.

11.19.2006 » Our First Tire Issue on I-35

Every time we travel to Austin for a show, we experience some sort of trouble. Closed highway lanes. UFO sightings. Donut giveaways. This time it was tread coming off the tire. Surprisingly, we were prepared. We had a tire iron, a hydraulic jack, and the undying will to get to Austin before the guitar shop closed. Making a short story boring, we changed the tire, got back on the move, bought a new (used) guitar, and played a kickass show at Headhunters Tiki Bar. Who knows what will happen next? Darth Vato turns 150 (in terms of shows played) on Thanksgiving night in Houston at Fitzgerald's. We play from 9:00 - 9:45pm. Come get drunk with turkey in your belly. I'm sure we will be doing the same.

11.11.2006 » Darth Vato & Oliver Future Kick Ass

Finally, we got to play a show with Oliver Future, and it was bad ass. The Moon was packed at 10:30pm, and I attempted to unleash Hurricane Kerry. But that was to no avail. I guess that I've become to fat to enjoy the effects of a couple of Long Island Iced Teas. Well that's it! Next time, I'm going to have 4 of those things when I want to get drunk. Maybe SoundClash or New Year's Eve. I don't know. Either way, check us out with Pablo & the Hemphill 7 at the Ridglea Theater for SoundClash 2006 on Friday, November 17. This show is huge every year, so don't miss it.

10.29.2006 » What a weekend

Muchos gracias to all those who came to our shows this weekend at Halo and Fred's Texas Cafe. Eric and Steve looked like zombies. Marroquin was wearing a speedo. I saw boobs that were not my own. All that adds up to a great night at Halo. At Fred's FredtoberFest, I got to eat a cheeseburger and hang out with good friends on the patio. If you have not been over to Fred's, check it out soon. The patio area is great. I figured I would give them a free plug since they fed us burgers and beer. Our next show is at the Moon bar with long time friends, Oliver Future. Their drummer, Jordan Richardson, is the mastermind producer/engineer behind all of our recordings. We are stoked about finally getting to play a show with him and his band. It should be good times down at that Moon bar.

10.08.2006 » Two pizzas and a movie about WWII

Thanks to everyone who came to see us at the Balinese Room in Galveston last night. We had a great time. Oh yeah, my camera broke, so there are no pictures from the past two shows. After the show, we went to our hotel room, lady-less as usual. I backed the trailer into a nice parking spot. Dad, you'd be proud of me on that one. Steve finished off the pizzas while Eric went to bed, and then we watched the middle part of Saving Private Ryan. It was filled with lots of blood and death. Come to think of it, there was a theme of blood and death at the Balinese Room, mainly in the Casino bar, where 4 metal bands were doing their best to get their jobs back at the Guitar Center. Sorry Craig, Guitar Center already has a new guy who likes to hear himself play every instrument at glass-breaking amplitudes. The funny thing about those people is that they are the only ones who like to hear themselves play. Unlike us. We have 10's of fans spread out around many Texas counties. See you next time, Balinese Room. Can't wait.

10.01.2006 » Our First 2-Show Weekend Out of Town

Good Lord! We've played a lot of shows, but this weekend was freakin' awesome. It took 6 hours to drive to Austin because I-35 was closed for 15 miles. WTF?!!! It wasn't all bad. Steve fashioned a urinal out of random trash in the van. No, he is not some genius engineer like the ones at NASA, who forged a carbon filter for the Apollo 16 mission. He is a sideshow MacGyver, who makes urinals out of a water bottle, a water jug, and some gum. Then some pee got spilled on Eric. Yuck! But we got to Headhunters in time to play a 45-minute set. Next stop was Fitzgerald's in Houston. That show was the shit. It was the first time my dad and stepmom got to see me play. Plus, some of my best friends from the Meadows Posse were there. Fitzgerald's is awesome. It was like a homecoming for me. Thanks to everyone who came to see us. And after all that, we made it back to Fort Worth in 4 hours flat, probably thanks to my dad for filling up the tires from dangerously-low levels (or as he said, "blowout levels"). It's really all just semantics. Isn't it?

09.23.2006 » New Shows Added

Be sure to check out the shows page. We've got more than 10 shows lined up in the next few months in Houston, Austin, Denton, Dallas, Galveston, and Fort Worth. I have a feeling we're going to have to fumigate the Grampus (our van). Probably need to shampoo the carpet, too, seeing how there is most likely an abundance of beer and assorted snacks ground into the plush interior.

09.04.2006 » Long Trip. Awesome show.

First of all, thanks to Herb'n Pipeline for hooking us up with such an awesome show at a badass bar. I hope we can get back there soon. I've got to get some sleep now. I should shower first. After 9 hours in a van full of farts, I feel a real need to wash up.

09.01.2006 » Holy Crap. It's late.

Ow, my head. It's about 4am, and I'm about to go to sleep. Thanks for showing up to the Moon tonight. I saw a lot of familiar friends, and I also noticed some new faces. Take a look at our shows page because we got some shows in Houston and Galveston, as well as a show at Club Clearview in Dallas. Touring other cities is cool, but nothing compares to a Fort Worth show. I've never been in any other band, so I still think it's awesome to hear people singing along with our songs. Thanks for that. I'll have pictures from the show uploaded tomorrow.

08.26.2006 » Awesome show in Denton

>That Denton place is getting better and better. The crowd was excellent. Thanks to those who made the drive from anywhere in the DFW area. For those of you in Denton, we are already looking at future gigs at Texas Jive. That is one bad ass bar. I hope to have pictures up by Sunday night, so check back after your hangover from Saturday night is gone. Also, check the calendar page. We have crap load of shows coming up in various places all over Texas.

08.24.2006 » Last Minute Show added in Denton

We got a show at Texas Jive this Friday in Denton. Hope to see you there.

08.13.2006 » River Trip 2006 Kicked Ass

Hey everybody. Thanks for coming to Austin to see us at Headhunters. We packed that bitch. I think I lost about 50 lbs during that show. It was hot. Thanks to Marcos for lining up the river trip. The river was low, but the coolers were full. Be sure to check out the pictures from the trip.

08.05.2006 » Water + Beer + Sun + Friggin' Boners = River Trip 2006

River Trip 2006! Hope to see you in Austin and/or at the river next weekend. Contact Marcos Escobar if you want to go.

07.30.2006 » Halo & the River Trip

The Halo show was awesome. Seven Seas was the shit. Thanks for coming out to the show. We'll be back at Halo in late October for Halo-ween. Now on to more important things. The river trip is Aug. 11-13th. Darth Vato plays in Austin at Headhunters on Friday night. Then on Saturday, we float the river. On Saturday night, we're back in Austin, partying like it was our last days on the planet. In the end, it's basically going to be 3 drunken days of debauchery, lechery, and floaties. Actually, we never get laid, so that rules out debauchery and lechery. I guess it will just be a weekend of excessive drunkenness and floaties. We made sure to rent 2 tubes for Kerry. We hope to see you there. Contact Marcos Escobar if you want to go. He's handling the booking. Don't forget to get your permission slip signed by both of your parents.

07.23.2006 » We love you Arlington

Well, Arlington, you are awesome! The bar was cool. The bands were cooler. The after party was full of hot ass girls! Be sure to check out the pictures. Even Ernie and Vanilla Jesus enjoyed the trip. Maybe we'll go back to Arlington in the future. But next weekend, we're back in Fort Worth at Halo. Come see us on in our town. It's definitely different. Oh yeah, be sure to call Eric on his new cell phone. He's very excited about it. (ps. If you're one of the hot girls at the after party, thanks for the visuals. Steve's spank bank is refilled for another two years.)

07.09.2006 » Holy Shit! We Won Fort Worth's Best Live Band

First things first - thanks to everyone who came to the Balinese Room for our show in Galveston. That was awesome. We lost about 10 lbs in the Grampus, our conversion van with no A/C. Thanks to the hot girls for driving up from Corpus to see us play. Please come again. You're hot. And thanks to the hot moms that were out last night.

Now to the Fort Worth Weekly Awards. It seems that you voted enough times to win us the Best Live Band award. Thank you so much. We especially want to thank all the ballot stuffers and computer programmers that made our win possible. This award really proves that we have the greatest fans in town. Seriously, we know we're just a bunch of friggin' boners, and the real talent is in bands like Pablo & the Hemphill 7 and the Villain Vanguard. Check them out because they are awesome. Maybe this proves that you don't have to be the best musicians to have a kick ass band. Now we're going to practice less and drink more!

Finally, congrats to The Me-Thinks for winning an unprecedented 2nd straight award for Best Hard Rock Band. I bet they were the only band to successfully defend their title, and the best part is they were not even there to accept it. I bet they were drinking. It's probably what we should've been doing.

07.01.2006 » OMFG! The Moon Show Was Like So Rad

Thanks to everyone who came to the Moon. My goodness, the Shot Fairy was in attendance, and we reaped the benefits. I couldn't even drive myself home, which is odd for me. After a day of watching screaming emo bands, I was glad that we could come to Fort Worth and put on a kick ass show for the best fans in the world. You are awesome. Believe that. Hope to see you in Galveston this weekend.

06.30.2006 » Fort Worth Weekly Music Awards Results

We got word that the FWWeekly.com Music Awards Results will be in the July 12th issue. Thanks to everyone who voted for us and/or for all the other great bands in Fort Worth, TX. We were grateful to have so many of you come to the show at the Flying Saucer last Sunday. It really showed this whole scene that we have the best fans. Or it showed them that you like to drink as much as we do. In retrospect, that show might have been a good place to have an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Na, rehab is for quitters.

06.27.2006 » Darth Vato goes to the Warped Tour...to watch

Thanks to everyone who came to the Flying Saucer on Sunday night for our performance at the Fort Worth Weekly Awards show. I have no idea when the results are going to be announced, but I will post it when we find out.

This week we're playing the Moon. Be there on Saturday night at 11:15pm. We'll be at the Warped Tour all day, so expect us to be drinking early. You should also consider going to the Warped Tour, so you can see us ogling hot high school ass. Actually, it doesn't even have to be hot. We make our moms so proud and your mom so horny. But that's what you get. Maybe Steve and I can lure some of that ass into the van. Just kidding. We can't even get girls our age into that van. Fucking posers.